Toxic Positivity

It always irked me when i see  "Good Vibes Only",                                                                                                                     " No Bad Days", " Look on the Brighter Side"

Is it possible to have Good vibes only ?

Why can't we feel "Low".

Why can't we have "Tough Times".

Why our day can't be "Bad"

You are allowed to feel Upset, Sad, Angry, disappointed, Bitter and Negative in difficult situations.

"HELL" if you didn't, you would loose the part the makes you Alive and Human.

I have a friend who got married into a family that only deals in positivity, from morning ritual to positive self talks, even in dreadful situation quietness is the only tool to navigate, after a while she has given up on the idea of sharing her true feelings, so not to rock the boat, is it Healthy ?

One of those days when you can't get of bed, you feel so numb and paralysed by that dark funk, you tell someone that your'e having a bad time understanding relationship or life.

Response : Despair, Annoyance & Frustration, it is told that we are 'harping on about it', 'why are you always so negative?' they are simply telling you they do not want to feel responsible for you, they Fear experiencing negativity too, they don't want to empathise with you. it is just so much easier to enforce positivity on others, to keep up an "Emotional Wall", to not engage or really dive into the depths of understanding emotions and darkness around.

It's a very sad and poor form of support because it leaves the other person feeling like a Burden, as if it is been Overreacted, Dramatic, Personal, so they stop reaching out to you because saying nothing at  all and dealing with it alone is better than thoughtless positive rants.

There are times when you fell positive but when someone is struggling or in doubt, it is the last thing they would want to hear. 

Demanding positivity  is Gaslighting"  of highest order, may be unintentional, denying the reality, bombing them with positive gyan on how things aren't that bad as they might think, making them doubt themselves- their experiences, their thoughts & feelings and the response to the world around them.

Ignoring Bad feelings is a form of Denial, by continuously trying to push someone to feel happy or " let Go", not every time we see Silver Lining, while hoping involves having faith that we will get positive results, the "Toxic Optimism"means having them, take them for granted, this kind of Optimism develops when we let our emotions manipulated statistically for to the point that our desire for something to happen far exceeds the actual outcomes that happen.

Life in and out is always not happy, when we eliminate child from processing natural emotions such as 'Disappointment ' & 'Grief' we build a false sense of positivity,  sudden jerk in life when they grow up will  shatter them into pieces with unresolved and suppressed emotions, transforming them into difficult being.

It seems like everything is labelled "Toxic" nowadays, word synonym's to 'Poison" & 'Death'

Things can be less perfectly intentioned without being toxic in every aspect of being positive.

People are often told when sharing feelings or perspective, "Stop Being So Negative", its so confusing for them and really intimidating, we can't use platitude to make an issue disappear, Silence and Fake Smile, (Hmm) aren't the only way to respond to any problem or pain, if we really want to overcome.

Bad vibes are fine too. Feelings are not good or bad, we label them as we derive meanings.

"Positivity Only" culture increases Toxic Shame, thus to avoid difficult topic to surface and debate.

Are we programmed to talk only good things, when questioned on a logical bandwidth, its easy to bypass and hide under the shadow of  Toxic Positivity.

If you avoid conflict to be in Peace, you start a Battle inside yourself, which is more "Daunting".

Forced positivity can hinder our physical health, being able to recognise and transmute our own toxicity is much more important than being mum.

 Acknowledging the Storm swirling around, while holding out Hope" for better days is a fine judgement than battling with unknown demons of suppressed feelings.

Crying releases “Stress ” 

Anger motivates us to “Grow Ahead”

Constant "Pursuit of Happiness" is what makes us feel Miserable 🛠